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Saturday, 12 February 2011

Hello hello hello...

How is everyone? Good? Anyways, just wanted you all to know that I am starting a Q/A service, ask me a question, and I shall do my best to answer it.

Just comment on this post with a question, and I'll type out/ make a video answer.

These questions can be about ANYTHING, so don't hesitate to ask away XD

Monday, 6 September 2010

Maths books

Just got reccomended Fermat's Enigma: The Epic Quest to Solve the World's Greatest Mathematical Problem, and my god this book is crazy, it's all about this blokey type who was all: "Lol, Pythag's a n00b troll" And generally proved that X^2 +Y^2 =Z^2 is the only therom that works, X^3 + Y^3 DOESN'T equal Z^3, X^4 +Y^4 DOESN'T equal Z^4, and so on. It ONLY works with Square numbers.
And this guy wrote a ridiculous amount attempting to prove his therom but couldn't write enough so was all: "I could prove this but I haven't got the paper"
And then he died.
Maths world=trolled.
And this was all in the 18th century and shizz.
Then some English mathematician proved it. He wrote > 100 pages of proof. My statistics teacher read the first page. He didn't understand it. That's how hard core this shit is.
My stats teacher worked out that if you have 23 random people then there is a 50/50 chance that 2 of them will share a birthday, thats some hardcore shit right there.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Fuck I'm tired

It's only half 11 in England and I'm ridicously tired. So tired I'm going to bed soon.
Just wanted to say, thanks for the 104 follows, love you all, want to bake you all cakes, or muffins or cookies or biscuits, or somthing.
But, I can't, I'm too tired, night XD

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

PHEW Part 3 of Charlies grand idea to write a shittonne of...well, shit.


The mission had been successful. One sacrifice had been made, but the mission was complete and they were one step further to winning this war. Charlie eased himself back into his seat on the Pelican and drifted off to sleep. Fives kills, four seconds, he thought. I'm getting sloppy.

Two days had passed since the mission. Charlie had been summoned to General Byson. It was of... utmost importance. As he hurried to the control centre, of the UNSC cruiser,’Reach for the Stars’ , he looked out at the stunning view. The planet ALAN was stunning. His home. Space. A beautiful sight. He walked past a few engineers and that gazed up at him. If only for a moment. It didnt bug him anymore, he was used to it. After all, being a Spartan, he was seven foot tall, and had pale skin, due to being a faggot most of the time. As he entered the giant command deck of the cruiser he saw the General gazing at the stars.

“Sir! Commander Gibson reporting.”

“At ease soldier.” Said the General. He had a an calm, voice but very professional. A true soldier thought Charlie. “ I have read your report, and I am impressed. Especially, the part involving... B16. Very impressive I-” The doors slid open again and Ben walked in. His foot steps echoed across the giant space.

“Sir! Gunnery Sergeant Mawdsley reporting.”

“At ease, as I was saying” continued the General, “I was most impressed by your skills. Both of you. B16, I have been given permission to promote you to the rank of Lieutenant. Wear it well soldier.”

“Thank you Sir.” Although his face remained straight, Charlie could detect the happiness Ben felt. Finally, he was being recognised.

“Also, I have a... another announcement. You two have been chosen for a very special operation.”

“Sir?” Asked Charlie

“You will b forming the first ever Spartan special operations Team. You and B16”.

Outside, a star seemed to shine brighter.

Part two of Charlies faggot shit

Enclycopedia and I have only added bits into this "novel" where it would be lulzy. For instance where heavier homoerotic connetations could be infered. HOWEVER, 99% of this is written by Charlie. All his spelling and grammatical mistakes have been left in place and all his faggotry has been preserved


His team close behind, Charlie began his search. They followed another greasy track, with wires, and loose stones of gravel clicking beneath their heavy armour. As they went on, they entered a large tunnel like area. Pipes spread across the ceiling and mucky walls surrounding them. They continued there, search until they reach an entrance deeper into the base. He stopped his team and split them in half. Ben had got his wish. Charlie and Ben would enter the ‘base’ further, while the others continued following the dirt track. As they separated, Ben said

“Well. Aren't I the lucky one” a hint of humour in his voice. Charlie grinned. As they delved deeper and deeper into the base, there was still no sign of ‘life’. They had reached a large, square room, with an upper level and painted red lines, across the walls. A shotgun lay in a nearby corner. A bubble shield conveniently placed next to it. Charlie picked them up and glanced back at Ben.

“Just in case. You know I love to get up close and personal” Charlie purred, Ben nodded and Charlie could tell he was grinning beneath his helmet. Suddenly a buzz of static filled Charlie's helmet.

“, rebels.... in....” there was a sound of a stuttering assault rifle and the comm went dead. Charlie looked at Ben. Before he could tell him otherwise Ben had rushed off to find the others. Fool! Ben had always been rash and didn't always think about his decisions also he was ugly as fuck. He knew Ben would be OK. So, he turned on his heel and continued. He worked better alone anyway like the lone wolf everyone knew he was. He continued walking. The light started to fade here, and Charlie noticed the temperature readings on his display and decreased. He could hear sound. Voices. Up ahead. He crouched and ,slowly, moved towards the source of noise. He looked round a doorway and saw a large room filled with computer monitors. Five men also stood in the room. They were wearing Mincy armour. Spartan armour. He was confused. Spartans in a rebel base? He pushed the thought out of his mind, and made a mental note to report this to command. He slowly entered the room and remained in the shadows. He overhead a conversation.

“Three of them. We found them in Sector B, near the drainage pipes.”

“Hmm. Stevens should have been searching there. Fool. I imagine he believed it was a 'useless' recon mission.”

One of them was wielding a gravity hammer. One a shotgun. And the other three held assault rifles. Charlie, viewed the odds. Five to one. Perfect. He waited for one to pass him before initiating his attack. He jumped behind the man, and pushed the shotguns barrel right into their back and gently squeezed the trigger. A loud boom filled the room and the man dropped to the floor. A pile of blood and bones. In one swift moment, Charlie turned in one swift motion and shot gunned a nearby opponent. Two down. He saw two more charging towards him assault rifles firing. His shields took the brunt of the damage. And he threw a well placed grenade between them. They flew into the air. Dead. Before he could breath, the man wielding the gravity hammer lunged for Charlie. Charlie deployed the bubbled shield just in time. His own shields depleted he charged towards his foe and suck the butt of his shotgun right into their spine. Charlie heard something crack, probably his spine… and the man dropped to the floor spine broken. He checked his clock. Four seconds, five enemies killed. Not bad, but it had been close. He ran towards the computers and inserted an infiltration program into the system. Every single piece of information in the system was quickly,downloaded and Charlie placed the program back into his helmet. He turned and ran back the way he had come. Hoping that his team were OK. That Ben was Ok.

Ben limped out his cover towards his team. The lieutenant and sergeant were fine. But the private. He had suffered a hole through his chest. Well, what remained of him had. One of the rebels had fired a rocket right at the poor soul. Blown to pieces. Spartan J13. Joe. Ben had known him. He sighed showing no remorse and continued to survey the battle field. Ten rebel soldiers lay on beaten ground. Blood, covered the entire area. They thing that bugged Ben however was the fact the soldiers had been wearing Mincy amour. Spartan armour. He would tell Charlie once they were re-united. He would know, surely. He turned around to find his friend sprinting towards him. Charlie armour also had some some blood on it. Ben decided not to ask.

“What the hell happened?” Asked Charlie.

“Well funny you should ask it would seem that they were lying in wait like the cowardly faggots they are... were. Ten of them as you can see. They took the others by surprise, poor Joe was blown to pieces, as you can see.” Ben glanced once more to what remained. The Lieutenant appeared next to Ben.

“Sir.” Said the Lieutenant, “I must say, without the help of B16 here, we would not have survived, he killed at least 6 of them and saved me from a fatal blast.” Charlie looked at Ben.

“Well. This will be noted, and I will make sure to... cover it in my report”.

“Thank you Sir.” And the lieutenant walked to his fallen comrade. Charlie grinned. This was perfect. Ben had finally proved himself. Surely he would get promoted. He called in his team and called for evac.

This is part 1 of a story that a friend of mine called charlie wrote. He's a massive halo fan. Me and my friend Enclycopedia decided to well...change it around slightly

This is not (all) my work, it is a modified verson of some fanfiction a friend of mine wrote.
I'm now ripping the shit outta him for it.

Day One: The day of Selection

2525 26th August

The sun was shining down on the greasy track of the rebel outpost. Rats nest. A damaged Pelican drop ship, sat in the distance in a repair bay, the sunlight glinting off of it's tarnished, titanium hide. The rebel scout, drove down the greasy track and gazed up into the sky. Sitting on his mongoose, his head swam with negative thoughts. Why was he being sent on a patrol, at this time of day... in a base that no UNSC forces even knew existed. He sighed thoughtfully, thinking of his love back on his home planet. Was Sarah safe? He could only hope. Under his bulky armour, he started through his visor and thought he could see a speck in the distance. Even with his enhanced, Spartan vision he could not make it out. He sighed once more. “Only a bird” he reassured himself. He pulled the throttle on the mongoose and continued on his, pointless, patrol?

The UNSC Pelican, Service number 007168 flew silently on it's course. A rebel outpost had been recently discovered and a team of five Spartans had been assigned to garner any information form the outpost. Intelligence said that the base was reasonably weak, and had very little defences. It was believed that the rebel forces were unaware that the UNSC had discovered it's location. Perfect. As the Pelican flew, the grey clouds slowly parted and a dazzling sun appeared. Beautiful, thought, Jerry, Pilot of the Pelican. His baby, as he called it. It had been a while, since he had seen the sun, and it was welcomed with much joy. He slowed the Pelican to a hover and initiated the sensors. He flicked a few switches and waited for the scans to take place. Behind him, his cargo sat. Silent. Not moving. Ominous. They were Spartans. Humans apparently, but nobody in the Marine Corps really believed what lay beneath all that shiny, shielded metal. Oh he'd heard stories all right. But he had never seen a real live Spartan in his ten year long career. Now here he was, five of them sitting right behind him. He felt slightly unnerved by their presence. None the less, they were heroes, and had saved millions of lives. He fumbled in his pocket, pulled out a stick of gum and began to chew. It calmed his nerves. He sat back into his chair and awaited the scans results. He was scanning for any signs of rebel life, before they descended into the supposed position of the base. As he waited, he felt a heavy hand grasp his shoulder. He turned to face a Spartan, a Commander he believed, staring right into the visor. Wearing his helmet, the Spartan looked emotionless, expressionless. Unnerving.

“How much further Corporal?” Asked the Spartan. Jerry thought the Spartans helmet made it's wearer look slightly like a fly. A very tall, dangerous fly. But a fly none the less.

“Just running scans sir, as soon as the results come in, we'll be ready to descend” answered Jerry. Without a word, the Spartan returned to his seat, picked up his battle rifle and began loading in a fresh magazine. The other Spartans followed suit. So he must be the Commander, thought Jerry. Commander Gibson. Jerry had heard a lot about him. Lone wolf they said. But a brilliant leader, and easily able to fit into a team. As Jerry returned to his the monitors, he allowed himself a slight grin. He was sitting with Spartans. How his friends would be jealous. Suddenly, a beeping sounded and the results were… in. Jerry brought the results onto the screen and studied them. One damaged pelican, out of order, and one life form, using a light transportation by the looks of things. As he studied the results the life form drove away out of range. The scans indicated that, the life form, a rebel scout, had spotted Jerry and his cargo, but had thought of it as nothing. Bad move, thought Jerry. He closed the results and started the Pelicans descent onto the rebel outpost.

Charlie, studied his weapon. A beautiful creation, built for a deadly purpose. A purpose he had been trained to serve. He glanced around at his team. Four soldiers. Four Spartans. Four brothers. Four lovers. A Captain, a private, a sergeant, and a gunnery sergeant. He sighed. A mismatch team, but they were Spartans. He glanced at the gunnery sergeant. His friend Ben. His, special friend. They had trained together form day one. Since the age of six, they had trained together, to become what they were today. Although, Charlie had progressed much further in rank and faggotry than Ben, they remained close and almost always ‘accompanied’ each other on ‘missions’. Although Ben was fast, strong and had quick reaction times, being held in his loving grasp made Charlie feel safe, and warm. They had great chemistry together. Only one thing bothered him. The damn helmet that idiot wore. EVA. He was just asking to be sniped. They had joked about the matter before, but Ben merely said it was better, as he had to dodge the bullet, and that, apparently, added more, challenge. As the Pelican slowly finished it is descent, Charlie assembled his team. He spoke to his team over the private comm channel they shared between their helmets.

“Right, I want a quick, clean operation. We need to gather any intelligence we can and eliminate any foes. Understand?” Four green acknowledgement lights winked on his helmets display. Good. Ben opened a private channel between them and said:

“So what we doing? Me and you take the glory” He allowed a slight laugh.

“No. You will do as your told.” He paused. “Faggit!” added for good measure. As the pelican slowed, the marine pilot turned and informed them that he would be waiting near the broken pelican, and would be prepared for evac. Charlie gave the marine a reassuring nod, as the they chewed their gum. Charlie turned, faced the pelicans drop pad and marched into the rebel base.




I'd liek to thank my mum and dad for helping me get here and my sister for being a constant source of antagonism and my brother for being a massive faggot and me other sister for also being a constant source of antagonism AND a massive faggot and my half brother jimmy for half being here and my quarter sister Kelly just for surviving, even after we got the pitbull.